Now we know: the State of Israel has adopted Groucho Marxism as its official policy.
At a superficial glance, this policy seems nothing more than an amusing paradox. A deeper look will show that it contains quite a bit of truth. After all, who knows the real quality and nature of the Israeli government better than the Israeli government itself? In the inner recesses of its heart, the government knows very well that the lip service it pays here and there to “its indefatigable quest for peace” is nothing but straw and stubble. So anyone stupid enough to buy its hypocritical chatter about peace cannot be considered a serious partner.
Or, as we said above: Anyone who is willing to talk to me proves that he is too stupid for me to talk with him.
We must admit that adopting Groucho Marxism has already gotten the desired result: the prisons are full of people who are willing to talk with us, but from the moment the king of Jordan announced that he had nothing to talk about with us (regarding the West Bank), he has been the only one we are willing to talk to.
Full disclosure: Everything I wrote above — with only technical changes — is pure journalistic plagiarism. It appeared long ago in Haaretz — or, to be more precise, in Haaretz’s weekend supplement, on Friday, August 26, 1988. That was 26 years ago.
Only my typical modesty prevents me from noting that this writer was also the one who wrote the above 26 years ago — because even then, Israel’s crooked policy was obvious, transparent and predictable.
Logic would seemingly dictate that a trick exposed 26 years ago would have lost its power and charm. But Israel’s adherence to Groucho Marxism has only grown deeper, more sophisticated and more efficient, trapping the foolish and naïve in its net again and again. Over and over it succeeds in leading both the nation and the world by the nose.
And so, thanks only to it and to the foolish and naïve ones whom it trapped this time, everybody has sunk once again into the heated and hackneyed dispute over “who is to blame for the failure of the talks.” Might it be the violation of the prisoner-release agreement? The voracious construction in the territories? Israel’s built-in refusal to part with the real estate? Heaven forbid! It is the Palestinians’ fault. By announcing that they were willing to talk with us, they proved once again that they were unworthy of having us talk with them.
Every true Groucho Marxist understands this.
There is nothing more depressing or disheartening, more ludicrous or embarrassing, than having to learn yet again that Groucho Marxism was, is and evidently will remain the most sanctified ideology of (most of) Israel’s governments throughout the country’s history. For 30 years at least, and maybe more.